QUIET!  Students.  Class is in session…  Today’s topic: Premature ejaculation.

Oh great. Another thing that can completely ruin the entire sexual escapade. As if having a little dick wasn’t bad enough, here we go with something even worse. Man I’m telling you, that’s got to be worth two strikes right there, along with two free tickets to the little dick club for sexual dysfunction. Why can’t we cure something as common as the common cold?   If I had the answer you think I’d be sittin’ here tryin’ to blog-out this to you little dick-heads?

But I, the Penis Guru, does feel for you.  So, no problem, it’s good to know you penis envy guys are trying to confront these real issues. What we have here is little or no ‘penis control’ that has evolved into premature ejaculation anxiety.  Which is terrible, because good sexual performance depends on the absence of premature ejaculation anxiety.

That’s why I wrote the book PENIS ENVY: 101 Things To Do If You Think Your Penis Is Too Small. With the issue of premature ejaculation being one of the main focal points.

There’s a few things you could do about it:

You could look in the dictionary to find the true meaning of premature ejaculation and meditate on it.

You could risk major embarrassment by telling your friends about your big little penis problem.

Or you could even consult a doctor about it.  I mean, pay a doctor about it because there won’t be much consultation-ish about it. In many cases he’s just gonna prescribe you drugs that’s going to dig in your wallet just about every time you have sex.

Ain’t that a bitch.  The medical industry has yet found another way to ‘dick you down’ before you ‘dick down’ someone else.  A vicious money cycle that replenishes itself solely on low self-esteem about sexual performance.  Now that’s genius; prescribing medication and nobody’s sick.   Not to mention these drugs are mentally addictive, with multiple side effects.

Or, you could just read my book and prosper in your sexual endeavors.

Seventeen dollars to improve your low sexual esteem and your partner’s pleasure is a bargain ‘understatement’.  The Penis Guru should charge you little dickheads a lot more!  And create my own cash cow.  I mean, you do nothing but bombard me by the thousands with your silly, but highly relevant questions.

Sometimes what I’d really like to do is round-up all you little dickheads into a gathering chamber to form one big dickhead.  Then you’d feel confident to soar the skies and land in any bedroom you desired. Hell, you’d score an ‘A+’ just on presence alone.  But I don’t want to build a ‘gang’ – do you really need every Tom, Dick and Harry to hold your hand in the bedroom?

But the Penis Guru is rather a ‘softie’ that can easily transform into a hard-ass when it comes to educating the penis envy dickheads like you.  So what I’m going to do for my students is teach you premature ejaculation control and how to avoid premature ejaculation anxiety.

But right now I’m going for my own escapade with a hottie… so tune in next time for my Penis Control advice that actually will help…

Tags: premature ejaculation

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 10th, 2010 at 11:07 pm and is filed under premature ejaculation . You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.